Fantastic Four (2015) – Review, Opinion

Fox’s 10-year-old middle finger to Marvel and the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And the waiting begins.’

The first sentence probably sums up the movie. I still can’t believe I had my mom and brother watch this with me. Sigh. This is probably up there with my Jupiter Ascending movie review.

Okay, this is worse. 

First, there’s the behind-the-scenes insanity between the director Josh Trank and the guys in Fox. The filming and re-filming of scenes, the obvious hair issues, the weird background for Victor, and a basically poop-dumped-on script that might have been good if Fox would just shut up and let Trank do what he was paid to do – DIRECT.

Just another problem to the story

Watch the Cracked video, and you’ll see that there’s a part about Victor Von Doom’s background. I think it’s pretty cool, and it wouldn’t be the first character on screen that had magical backgrounds – Arrow’s steeped in it, what with Damien Darhk, Ra’s Al Ghul and the Lazarus Pit. I think, personally, if the company had the balls for it, the movie would have been even better (as long as they keep their dicks in their pants and not on the set). I know it’s rude, but the amount of money wasted on this, and the rubbish that came out, is horrifying and sad to me. That same amount of money could’ve been used to alleviate the situation of any of the diseases that is currently wrecking havoc in our world. The same amount of hard work and money, without all the nonsense, might have made Fox another rival to watch out for Marvel, if they hadn’t mucked it up so badly.

The best of it was, the entire ‘intense’ point and end of the movie was in another planet. Sure, there are a few CGI’s to show that *mimics narrator voice* our world is in great danger *end mimic*, but the build-up was badly done, and the story falls apart faster than you can say, ‘Timber!’. 

I wouldn’t necessarily say that all the actors and actresses here are bad. For god’s sake, Kate Mara has House of Cards under her belt. Michael B. Jordan recently proved that, yes, he can act (Creed, which he leads with Sylvester Stalone) and no, he’s not the weak link. Miles Teller has The Spectacular Now, Whiplash, Divergent, Insurgent and the to-come Allegiant on his film credits. I do, however, feel that there was a miscast with Franklin Storm. Reg E. Cathey (the guy who played Franklin Storm) has a long list of films, tv and theatre in his career, but I felt (still feel) that his voice detracted from the fatherly scientist Franklin Storm. I’m not asking for another Morgan Freeman, but at least don’t sound like you should pop a throat lozenge every ten minutes or so. It isn’t that obvious, when you are watching the trailer, but his voice starts to grate after the first thirty minutes or so of him talking.

Toby Kebbell is a sore point for me. I have watched his two other movie hits (The Sorcerer’s Apprentice and Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time), and am currently finding time to watch Wrath of the Titans. He hasn’t had very big roles yet, but his acting in TSA’s one of my favourites. He does his best with the Von Doom role, but even if he acts to 150%, with the shoddy script it almost verges on the edge of overacting.

And what on earth was the director or FOX thinking, leaving out Von Doom’s arc so suddenly? What, we are supposed to accept that oh yes, Von Doom was stuck in another planet and that there’s a whole character plot and arc that happened and did not make it on screen????????

Personally, I think that a movie about how Von Doom got himself on Planet Zero, survived and then become Doctor Doom would have been much more interesting that the blink-and-you-miss-it-because-it’s-not-there character arc and build up we got in Fan (not) – stic Four.

Save your money and watch Star Wars, or Life, an autobiography film about James Dean and Dennis Stock coming out on 31 December. Sorry, Robert (Pattinson), missed The Rover, Maps to the Stars and Queen of the Desert. I did enjoy Cosmopolis, which was pretty interesting. I will get around to watching them.

See you guys soon!

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